I know this is a theme I keep coming back to over and over again but it is an important one:  People judge us . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Clothes]]>

Always dress neatly, taking care to have good materials.  It is astonishing how much people judge by dress.  ~ John Lubbock

Source: myvintagevogue.com via Julie-Ann on Pinterest

I know this is a theme I keep coming back to over and over again but it is an important one:  People judge us by our clothes.

It may not be fair.  It may not be right.  But I’m just reporting the facts to you.  What we wear telegraphs to other people how we think about ourselves and how we expect to be treated by others.  That doesn’t mean we have to wear haute couture all of the time and spend a lot of money.  But we should look nice, even when we are being casual (for example, the two sweater dresses above are comfy, casual, warm, and perfect for running errands and meeting a friend for lunch…apparently lunch was a bit more than Blue Dress expected because she is checking out the change in her wallet).

When I started the “Only Own Beautiful Clothes in 2012 Challenge,” I had no idea that it would touch women so deeply.  I’ve already scheduled a second retreat for this month and third retreat for March to help women clarify their own personal style and create a wardrobe plan.

One of the things that differentiates modern retro women is that we believe in the importance of getting “dressed”–whether we wear retro/vintage inspired clothes or modern clothes.  Because we know that when we are dressed we have more confidence and are treated with more respect by others.

Prelude To Conquest, 1938 ad for the March of Time newsreels; Image courtesy of Paul Malon on Flickr.com

In 1897, The New York Times adopted the motto, “All The News That’s Fit to Print.”  It was a jab at . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Climbing Molehills]]>

One can get ulcers by climbing mountains that are molehills.  ~ Unknown

Prelude To Conquest, 1938 ad for the March of Time newsreels; Image courtesy of Paul Malon on Flickr.com

In 1897, The New York Times adopted the motto, “All The News That’s Fit to Print.”  It was a jab at other newspapers who traded in “yellow” or sensational journalism.  Yellow journalism is known for its lack of legitimately researched stories, fear or scandal mongering, and gross exaggerations of the truth.

Sound familiar?

The twenty-four hour news cycle is yellow journalism on steroids.

Network, cable, radio, and Internet outlets are competing for your advertising dollars.  Headlines and sound bites are designed to draw you in.  The more lurid and sensational (and accusatory) the story, the higher the ratings and the higher the profits.

Mountains are made out of molehills because air time must be filled.

I remember a “breaking story” about five years ago on all of the major news outlets about an airplane carrying several hundred passengers with stuck landing gear.  The plane was going to have to make a “belly landing.”  For 20 some minutes or so, the reporters whipped themselves into hysteria as the plane went through emergency landing precautions and the runway was sprayed with foam.  The plane was able to land without exploding or breaking apart.  The emergency chutes opened and passengers started sliding safely down them.  Within seconds of the (relatively) safe landing, the stations broke away and I could literally hear the disappointment in the reporters’ voices that a tragedy was averted.

In our modern times, we are suffering from information overload.  Just out of curiosity, I did a quick and dirty review of the headlines and stories on the three Internet news sources that I frequent.  According to my unscientific research, 98% of the stuff would be considered “molehills.”  Yet people were spewing toxic comments and calling each other horrible things about stuff that really shouldn’t matter (and half of the time, it was obvious that the person hadn’t even bothered reading the story).

And I think this mountain-out-of-molehill-making helps fuel divisive rhetoric that keeps people from coming to the table to actually solve our national problems.

Our mid-century role models weren’t inundated with news 24-hours a day.  They obtained most of their news via newspapers and news magazines that researched their stories.  They were encouraged to get their news from sources across the political and social spectrum so that they could be better informed on the issues.   Perhaps we, as modern retro women, should emulated them and leave sound bite journalism to others.

 I’ve come a long way in the years since that photo was taken.  My life has been a glorious . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: (My) Birthday]]>

Time is not measured by the passing of years, but by what one does, what one feels, and what one achieves. ~ Nehru

My second birthday party, 1963, at my grandparent's house.

 I’ve come a long way in the years since that photo was taken.  My life has been a glorious adventure.  Sometimes painful but always triumphant in the end to make that pain worthwhile.  And I get to share that adventure with The Mister, friends and family, and with you, my dear Modern Retro Woman readers.

I want to express my profound gratitude to my fellow modern retro women.  It is because of you that I continue to write this blog and share what I’m learning on this journey called “life.”  Thank you!

Coca Cola Ad from 1944; Image courtesy of Paul Malon on Flickr.com

Instead of worrying about what other people are or aren’t doing, we need to . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Citizen]]>

The first requisite of a good citizen in this Republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight.  ~ T. Roosevelt

Coca Cola Ad from 1944; Image courtesy of Paul Malon on Flickr.com

Instead of worrying about what other people are or aren’t doing, we need to look in the mirror and make sure we are doing everything we can be doing to be good citizens.  This includes being informed about the candidates and policies by getting our news from a variety of sources and not just relying on SuperPac-funded commercials, voting (are we going to let a minority of eligible voters decide the fate of the nation??), and actually being involved in change instead of just complaining about what we don’t like.

When was the last time you contacted your representatives?

As modern retro women, we know that inaction and infighting won’t bring back post-war prosperity and values.  We have to fight for it…by looking within, first.

Gas Cooking Ad "Better Homes and Gardens" September 1961; Image courtesy of SaltyCotton on Flickr.com

I get so annoyed when I read comments about homemakers being subjugated and reduced to second . . . → Read More: From the Archives: Partners in Mutual Success]]>

I am still under the weather but feeling much better. While I am on the mend, enjoy this post from May of 2010.

Gas Cooking Ad "Better Homes and Gardens" September 1961; Image courtesy of SaltyCotton on Flickr.com

I get so annoyed when I read comments about homemakers being subjugated and reduced to second class citizens. To be sure, in the past (and, unfortunately, in many ways still) women were treated like second class citizens–we didn’t have the right to vote, own property, or even hold credit in our own names. But there is absolutely no reason why homemakers should feel inferior because “they aren’t contributing to the household income.”

Bullpucky, I say, to the idea of not being contributors! We are full partners in the money-making endeavor. We are just the “silent partner” that works magic behind the scenes. Kathy Brown, of Wingspouse.com, has coined (and trademarked) the term “wingspouse” to describe the executive wife who partners with her husband for mutual success. A wingspouse(TM) is her husband’s confidante, helps him analyze a situation, brainstorms with him, and helps work the room at professional events. In essence, like the fighter pilot’s wingman, the wingspouse has her husband’s back. I like the imagery that the term elicits but I don’t think the idea has to be limited to the executive spouse, You see, in my mind, those things are simply part of the job description of a homemaker.

For example, when we watch old movies and television shows, the wife wants everything to be perfect when the boss and his wife are invited to dinner. The work going into such meals isn’t subjugation; it is an opportunity for the partners to work in tandem for their mutual success. You might say all of those dinners and cocktail parties that epitomized the post-war period were really a form of networking. How much more relaxing it is to get to know each other over a delicious meal rather than those sterile and awkward “networking events” that those climbing the career ladder are forced to attend.

Your home is your family business. What can you do to ensure the business runs smoothly for your mutual benefit?

"Dextrose is often prescribed by doctors for many reducing diets": 1940; Image courtesy of PaulMalon on Flickr.com

We want to have our cake and eat it too, . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Circumstance]]>

Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; therefore they remain bound. ~ James Allen

"Dextrose is often prescribed by doctors for many reducing diets": 1940; Image courtesy of PaulMalon on Flickr.com

We want to have our cake and eat it too, to speak.  We want to be thin and healthy but still eat all of the fattening food we want all of the time and never get off of the couch.  We hate being treated like a doormat but are never assertive or create boundaries. And the list goes on.

I’ve mentioned this before but one of the things I truly admired about both sets of grandparents was the fact that they took action to change their circumstances when The Great Depression hit.  They left everything they knew to embark on new lives.  They didn’t settle for the status quo in their lives.

On Tuesday, the featured quote was about making choices.  If you don’t like your circumstances, make the choice to change.  And then take the actions needed to bring about the new circumstances.  It is quite an empowering experience!

"Choose a Modern Gas Range for Tops in Cooking Perfection!" "New Freedom Gas Kitchens," American Gas Association, 1946; Image courtesy of SaltyCotton on Flickr.com

“I have no choice but to serve processed, . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Choice]]>

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.  ~ William James

"Choose a Modern Gas Range for Tops in Cooking Perfection!" "New Freedom Gas Kitchens," American Gas Association, 1946; Image courtesy of SaltyCotton on Flickr.com

“I have no choice but to serve processed, chemical-laden frankfood to my family because I don’t know how to cook.”

Okay, I’ve paraphrased the fairly frequent comment I receive but the essence of it is the same.  The woman has made the choice to feed substandard and unhealthy food to her family instead of learning how to cook.  My disdain at those comments is that she is refusing to take ownership of her choice.  I have much greater respect for someone who says that she uses prepared foods because she simply has no interest in cooking.  I can honor that choice.  I can’t relate to not enjoying the cooking process but there are lots of things women find satisfaction doing that I don’t find enjoyable.

We always have choices.  We may not like the choices but we always have them.

You know I like to tie these quotes in with being modern retro women.  Unfortunately, my sinus infection has taken a turn for the worse (thank heaven for my neti pot!) so I’m not functioning on all cylinders and hope I’m not coming off as a grumpy pants.  But my point is that we need to take ownership of our choices…even the ones that we don’t thing we’re making.

Campbell's Soup Advertisement, September, 1944, Life Magazine; Image courtesy of Jon Williamson on Flickr.com

I remember the days when teachers were well respected and weren’t the whipping post for all of society’s failures.

I remember the days when teaching . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Children]]>

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.  ~ George Santayana

Campbell's Soup Advertisement, September, 1944, Life Magazine; Image courtesy of Jon Williamson on Flickr.com

I remember the days when teachers were well respected and weren’t the whipping post for all of society’s failures.

I remember the days when teaching was a highly creative activity with days filled with exploration-based learning instead of the drudgery of one worksheet after another that “prepare” children for test taking.

I remember the days when learning was authentic and children’s curiosity took them to exciting places.

I remember the days when the parents and schools were united instead of enemies.

I am an educational psychologist which means that I’m an expert in how people learn and the best ways to teach.  My discipline argued fiercely against current educational policies before they were enacted.  We’re not going to say “we told you so.”  That is counterproductive.  But we will say that almost all of our fears have come true.  The policies get people elected because they are based on fear.  But they don’t help children learn because they reduce learning to simplistic rhetoric.  And learning is an amazingly complex activity that cannot be easily measured.  I believe in expansive, not reductionist, learning and teaching that opens up whole new vistas to be explored.

As modern retro women, it is imperative that we get politics out of the classroom so that our teachers can teach and our children can learn.

(By the way, we’ve known for a very long time now that the number one factor in student success is parental socio-economic status)

Budweiser advertisement published in the August 1956 issue of Family Circle magazine; Image courtesy of Clotho98 on Flickr.com

 When I started working at Big Name University, my boss told me that I had to stop being so nice . . . → Read More: Wise Words of the Day: Cheerfulness]]>

Get the habit of saying the cheerful, pleasant thing.  ~ John Schindler, M.D.

Budweiser advertisement published in the August 1956 issue of Family Circle magazine; Image courtesy of Clotho98 on Flickr.com

 When I started working at Big Name University, my boss told me that I had to stop being so nice and that I needed to become more cutthroat if I wanted to survive.  Well, I didn’t survive.  After I was laid off, I realized that it was my boss who was toxic, not the university environment.  Even as I reflect on  it, I am still appalled by the snarky things he would say about the people who worked for him.  I can only imagine what he has said about me.

I know I keep harping on this but as modern retro women, we need to be the standard bearers for optimism and cheerfulness in a world gone crazy thinking that snark is the same as humor.  We’re not looking at the world through rose colored glasses.  We’re realistic optimists who don’t think we need to tear other people apart in order to get ahead.  We don’t go for the laugh at the expense of others.

Remember that old adage, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all?”  Perhaps the world would be a better place if more of us put it into practice.