Many, many years ago, when a bunch of colleagues were complimenting me on a dress I made, I made the off-hand comment that I love being girly. Well, you would have thought that I had just admitted to stealing people’s pets and eating them for dinner. The negative reaction was fast and fierce. I was “reminded” that “being girly” is a pejorative phrase and that no self-respecting professional woman would call herself “girly.” They told me that I was diminishing my power by wanting to be girly.
The problem with their reaction is that being girly is my secret source of power.
Although I could understand their point–the phrase is often used to imply that the recipient of the comments such as, “You throw like a girl,” is somehow less masculine than other men–I have embraced the non-demeaning definition that is used to describe a woman who cultivates her femininity.
I love and identify with my feminine self. I draw power and strength from the feminine aspects of myself. Embracing the feminine arts helps me feel centered, balanced, and able to face whatever the day may bring.
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It’s when I don’t acknowledge and embrace my feminine side that I run into trouble. When I’m inauthentic and play by the “fake man rules,” I feel powerless, frustrated, and, ironically, silenced because I’m not trusting myself and my intuition.
I want to point out that femininity is not an either/or kind of proposition. I don’t think it is helpful to foist one’s own definition of femininity onto someone else and then judge whether they can be part of the feminine club or not. It is a continuum and my authentic self just happens to be on the ultra-feminine tail of the continuum. And it is from that perspective that I write about. But it isn’t the only way to be feminine.
Since beginning my recalibration a couple of weeks ago by engaging in ruthless self-care, I’ve been focusing on tapping into my feminine power and shedding the fake man mask.
And it feels good–and powerful–to be my feminine self once again.