If we talk at great length about clothes and the place they play in making you an attractive, charming person, don’t think that we believe for one minute that clothes are the most important thing in the world.  They aren’t.  But they can do a great deal to enhance you.  . . . → Read More: The Well-Dressed Girl]]>

1950's Ad for J.C. Penny's Separates

If we talk at great length about clothes and the place they play in making you an attractive, charming person, don’t think that we believe for one minute that clothes are the most important thing in the world.  They aren’t.  But they can do a great deal to enhance you.  A person who is well dressed, and knows that she is, loses a great deal of self-consciousness.  She concentrates on people and ideas and forgets herself.  ~The Home Economics Omnibus

I think we’ve become too lazy in getting dressed.  This really hit home for me the day I was catching an early morning (as in 7:00 a.m.) flight.  Near the front of the check-in line (this was in the days before the self-check-in kiosks), a youngish woman was wearing her pajamas and slippers.  I understand the desire to be comfortable, but…really?  The woman couldn’t be bothered getting dressed?

I think clothing designers have also become quite lazy.  The fewer the details and the fitting issues, the cheaper the garments are to make.  Dresses and tops are sleeveless so that (a) the garment requires less fabric and sewing and (b) the issue of sleeves being too tight or too loose are eliminated.  The arm is free to move about the country without feeling restricted.  Making things out of knits is a great boon because the stretchiness masks how ill-fitting the garment really is.  We keep buying and shopping, hoping that the garment will give us confidence but you can’t make a silk purse out of sow’s ear, even if it has a designer label on it.

I know I’ve commented before on “when women dressed.”  And I’m not saying that we have to wear heels and pearls when we are cleaning the house.  But what I am saying is that we need to be a little more cognizant of what our clothes are saying about us.  Our clothing communicates an instant message.  Is it the message we want to send?

One day, several months ago, I saw my reflection in a glass door.  I was horrified.  I had slipped into “sturdy shoes frumpiness.”  Now, individually, each thing that was wearing did not constitute a frumpy label.  But, wearing them together really made me look older and tired…I didn’t think it really reflected how I was feeling inside.  I had become lazy in my choice of clothing.  I was wearing twin-sets that weren’t flattering, given my figure, but were comfortable.  I had on “mom jeans” that had become a little flood-like in their length.  And I had on my closed-back clogs.  My hair had been pulled up into a bun.  And I had on this attire as I was heading to a fashion design class!

I used to be known for wearing classic and feminine clothing.  A good portion of my clothing had an “Audrey” feel to them.   But now….

When I was younger, women didn’t own as many clothes as they do now.  But those clothes were well made and had a purpose.  Women had Sunday dresses and they had house dresses.  And they used aprons to protect their clothing.  As I start to rebuild my wardrobe to be a better reflection of the message I want to convey–vibrant, feminine, and poised–I just have to remember that I don’t kneed to go on a shopping spree.  I just need to choose my clothing carefully.  And when I do that, my confidence will increase exponentially.

True confession time.  Sometimes when I read the blog postings of younger women trying to live like a mid-century housewife, I gasp out loud and say “But, you can’t do that!” when they share their adventures teaching themselves how to sew by redecorating the entire house . . . → Read More: But! But! You Can’t DO That!]]>

For goodness’ sake let’s experiment and practice!  ~The Home Economics Omnibus

True confession time.  Sometimes when I read the blog postings of younger women trying to live like a mid-century housewife, I gasp out loud and say “But, you can’t do that!” when they share their adventures teaching themselves how to sew by redecorating the entire house or making a suit for their husbands and so forth.  Or, their adventures in teaching themselves how to cook.  In my mind, they are jumping off of the diving board without checking to make sure there is water in the pool.

But, you know what?  They are doing “that.”  And doing it successfully.  Why?  Because it is an adventure for them…they don’t know they shouldn’t be able to do it and so they do, indeed, do it.

It makes me wonder where my sense of adventure and the willingness to experiment is.  Where is my willingness to try something and be okay with it not working?  Where did I get the idea that I have to be perfect right out of the starting gate?

When the Home Economics Omnibus was telling us to experiment and practice, it was talking about learning how to be a hostess.  But I think the idea can be transferred to other areas of my life, too.

The next time my mind chatter tells me I can’t do something, I’ll thank it for its opinion and remember that I can at least experiment and practice.

Planning is not cooking but it is management.  Mother gets her day’s work done because she has learned to plan.  In her day, planning or management were not taught in school.  This is where you have an advantage.  (Page . . . → Read More: Planning is Management]]> Now, where were we?  Oh yes!  We were going through The Home Economics Omnibus by Harris & Huston!

Planning is not cooking but it is management.  Mother gets her day’s work done because she has learned to plan.  In her day, planning or management were not taught in school.  This is where you have an advantage.  (Page 9)

When I read the above quoted passage, it reminded me of something Kathy had mentioned in the comments section a while ago.  She said that her mother viewed being a housemaker as her job.  She writes,

My mother made lists in order to keep herself focused on what she needed to do. She treated homemaking, including her sewing and handwork, as her job.

This has me wondering, how many of us view homemaking as our job rather than a chore?  Thanks to the media trying to sell us stuff to rescue us from our “daily drudgery,” chores have a rather negative connotation.  What if we thought of homemaking as our career and not “just a job?”  Would we go about our day differently?

When I was a new school teacher, I had to submit my weekly lesson plans to my principal.  He wanted to make sure that the new teachers had plans in place to ensure that our students would meet our learning benchmarks.  As a new professor, I didn’t have to turn in my lesson plans but I carried over my habit from when I was a schoolteacher.  Since then, I have led countless workshops teaching new professors and graduate students how to plan out their courses so that their students learn without too many “uh-ohs” happening during the semester.

And, isn’t that what planning is about?  If we plan, we can manage the daily ups and downs a little easier.  If we ask ourselves, “What can go wrong?” we’ll already have a plan in place to manage the “uh-oh” instead of it turning into a disaster.

What does home management entail?  I think it includes things like financial/money management, physical upkeep of the house and ourselves, meals, vacations/days of rest, and education.

Education?  Yes, education.  Many professional careers require their practitioners to acquire professional development hours in order to renew their license.  And, yet, we don’t necessarily think about professional development when it comes to home management.  But why not?  That “hobby class” offered at the recreation center may provide you with skills that will help you grow as a home manager.  The big box stores like Lowes and Home Depot offer do it yourself workshops.  Even if you aren’t planning on redoing your bathroom, just having an understanding of how the bathroom plumbing works will enable you to save money because you will know when you can unclog that drain yourself (instead of needing to call a plumber).

Many young mothers write to me, wanting to know about resources so that they can be like a 50′s housewife.  I think the unspoken plea is that they don’t feel in charge of their home and want some guidance on how to be an ideal homemaker.  I think a first step is to view homemaking as a career and see both the daily and long-term in our planning.  That way we won’t be buffeted about like a ball in an old pin-ball machine.  Planning means that we are in charge and can remain (relatively) calm and productive no matter what happens.

PS: Click here to read my blog posting on my favorite organization tools

In my last post, I mentioned that the girls in the . . . → Read More: Food Should Not be So Complicated]]> My apologies for disappearing again but my grandfather’s death followed by my older sister’s visit and Baby Alice’s dedication (like a baptism only without the water) kept me away (not to mention my schoolwork!).  I’m finally starting to feel like I’m catching up with myself again.

In my last post, I mentioned that the girls in the pretend home economics class were trying to come up with a menu for a Sunday evening party where the guests will consist of teenage boys and girls (so that answers your question, Kathy, about whether the guys will be there or not).  As part of the process, they developed some standards to go by to guide their decision making.

Standards:

1. Food should not be so complicated and fussy that daughter cannot prepare it herself.  It is scarcely fair to ask Mother to work all day–especially Sunday–for her daughter’s friends.
2. The menu should not be so heavy, with so much food that guests feel uncomfortably “stuffed.”  The applies especially to a meal served after a traditional Sunday dinner.
3. Food should not be too expensive.
4. The menu should not call for equipment and utensils which are not found in the ordinary kitchen.

Kathy and Ann were mentioning the importance of being a calm hostess.  I know that I’ve had my own share of meltdowns over the years and I have been wondering ever since I read these standards how many of those meltdowns could have been avoided.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but one thing that always strikes me is how uncomplicated “special occasion” menus were in the mid-century.  Those menus are a far cry from my own special occasion menus where I’d scour Martha Stewart  and other famous chefs’ cookbooks that I checked out from the library until I created menus that were fit for a television show.  And then I’d exhaust myself trying to make the menu a reality.  And, of course, there were things that always went awry.  Our mothers and grandmothers were taught that menus should not be complicated or fussy.

Another thing that jumps out at me from this list is that we shouldn’t be stuffing our guests as if they were Thanksgiving turkeys.  Of course, if we keep our menus simple and uncomplicated, it will counteract the urge to pile plates higher and higher.

That said, I don’t think menus should rely on chips & salsa and vegetable trays.  I noticed at the pot-luck dinner after Baby Alice’s dedication, everyone was enjoying the chicken, homemade potato salad, and the homemade strawberry pie, and were basically ignoring the chips and vegetable trays.  I’m not saying that chips and vegetable trays don’t have their place but let’s be more cognizant of when we serve them instead of making them a “default appetizer.”

Also note what people were eating at the dinner–simple foods.  It was a hot day and guests were enjoying “picnic-type food”  of fried or flame-broiled chicken, the potato salad, and the pie.  There were other things that were available but those were the items that were being devoured and everyone proclaimed what a great dinner we were having.

Fancy foods may sell magazines and commercials on television, but uncomplicated and unfussy food will enable us to be calm hostesses who get to enjoy our own parties.

“What,” said I, “you mean that I wash dishes because I want to do it?  You mean I get up . . . → Read More: Who Wants to Do Things that are Unwise or Foolish?]]>

Years ago when one of the authors of this book took a course in psychology, the teacher said that no one ever did anything in this world that he did want to do and I challenged it.

“What,” said I, “you mean that I wash dishes because I want to do it?  You mean I get up at seven because I want to do so?  You mean I study late on a grand moonlight evening because I want to do that?  Oh no.”

We argued for a long time.  Almost, he made me see his side.  In the examination the question was asked, “How many times do we do the things we want to do?”  I wrote–you see I was beginning to be persuaded–”In ninety-nine cases out of one hundred.”  He drew the blue pencil through “ninety-nine cases out of” and let the sentence read “In one hundred cases.”

I agree with him now.  That does not mean I am siding with him because both he and I have been, or are, teachers.  But because I finally see his meaning.  We do everything because it, or something which follows in its train, gives us the result we want.  I wash dishes, not because I want to wash them, but because I want a clean kitchen.  To have that I must get the dishes out of the way.  I get up in the morning, not because I want to do so, but because I don’t want to be late to the office or school.  Not being late is something I really desire, so I do the things which will make me on time.  I study, not because I want to study, but because I want to pass in the examinations, or I want to graduate, or I want to show the boys that girls are good scholars.  I do the lesser things because I have a larger end in view.  And so I say, “In one hundred cases we do the things we want to do.”

You want to be a pleasing person, a delightful hostess, a jolly companion, a girl who can lead in athletics or games or what not.  To accomplish that big purpose you need ot know the lesser things you must do.

This book is devoted to ways and means of doing the lesser things so that you, yourself, make yourself the woman who is your ideal (emphasis added).  That’s a big task.  More power to you.

Pages 5-6, The Home Economics Omnibus

Instant gratification and having a good time is the name of the game in our culture.  Don’t have the money to buy that top in every color?  That’s okay, open a charge account today and you’ll save 10% on your entire purchase (because we know you probably won’t notice we charge 20% interest rate)!  Don’t want to wait until you are home to check your email?  That’s okay, sign up for this wireless plan and you can check your email and surf the web while having dinner with the in-laws!  Want to be turned on by your car?  Then buy this make and model.  And so it goes.

But the wise homemaker knows that sometimes getting to the desired outcome requires lots of little steps that aren’t so fun.  As I’ve mentioned previously, I decided to take a pattern making through draping class during the winter term (I do not recommend doing this).  Very, very late one night, as I was still sitting at my sewing machine and fighting back tears of frustration, my husband put his hand on my shoulder but knew better than to ask if I was still having fun in the class.  I looked up at him and said, “Not all parts are fun but the outcome makes it worth it.”

What are some things that we do that aren’t fun but the outcome makes it worthwhile?

The title comes from the line in the book right before the passage I quoted above.  What do you think it means?

In the next post, I will discuss the Premack Principle.