This post is part of a series examining 1950s era charm, poise, and beauty using Secrets of Poise, Personality, and Model Beauty written by modeling agency and schools icon John Robert Powers and published by Prentiss-Hall in 1960.
At what age is a woman really at her best? This is a question that will arouse debate in all quarters. The real answer, of course, depends upon the woman. My experience has taught me that this year, and every year, can be a woman’s best if she will strive to understand her age and its possible rewards…When a woman blames her problems on her age she will rarely find a solution to them. Any age is an asset if one learns to regard it as such. ~John Robert Powers
I was one month shy of my 39th birthday in this photo. Mr. Powers has helped me realize that I will never be this woman again. I need to embrace who I am now.
Dear Friends,
One of the things I love about Mr. Powers is that he gives it to us straight on. And, today, I needed him to “sit me down” and tell me that my problems are not about my age.
You see, and this is really hard for me to share, I used to be a beautiful woman but I don’t feel like one anymore. My forties were not easy on me on many levels and I’ve got the battle scars to show it. I know I lost a lot of readers when I started exploring mid-50s glamor and charm but the truth of the matter is that before I began the series, I felt like I was flailing about trying to regain what I had lost. This exploration is an extremely personal one for me. I want to feel beautiful again.
I tell myself that I’m just trying to age gracefully but I catch myself trying to replicate my younger days. And it simply isn’t working out very well.
Mr. Powers tells us,
We have become a nation of youth worshipers. The only ones who don’t agree wholeheartedly to the idea that the fledgling years are the best are the very young themselves. Teenagers wait impatiently for the future, believing that time in itself will somehow solve their problems. Yet older women all too frequently look back and imagine that their golden years are behind them. The youngsters tend to overlook the advantages of youth, while older women tend to overemphasize them…The best years of a woman’s life come when she attains a harmony between her body and her spirit.
I’ve often said that I wouldn’t want to return to my youth and all of the angst associated with it. I love the wisdom that has come with being “a certain age.” Now I need to embrace the wisdom of my body so that I can attain harmony between it and my spirit.
To fabulous Technicolor beauty at any age,
Dr. Julie-Ann
I read something not too long ago that said that women hit their peak–beauty-wise–at 31. I guess it’s all downhill from here!
I do like what you and Mr. Powers are saying: it’s about the now.
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You know, I’ve read that, too, about women hitting their peak at 31 and I think it is a bunch of hooey. I think that line was developed by the cosmetics companies that want us to buy their overpriced youth serum.
I like how your bring everything into succinct focus: It’s about the now. I’m going to make that my mantra!
Twitter: Lidian
What a wonderful post, Dr. Julie-Ann. And I know I didn’t hit my peak at 31 – I was stumbling around coping with a newborn! I intend to aim for hitting my peak more at, say, 71 or 81
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I think most of us tend to look at, and dwell on, what we don’t like about ourselves. Take an honest look at yourself and focus on what’s good, what you like about what you see. Accentuate the positive! That’s what others will see.
And Dr. Julie-Ann, you are gorgeous!
Oh, sure, LoriO, throw my post from last week about The Aura of Magnificence right back at me! *laugh* But, you’re absolutely right and that is what I need to keep reminding myself.
Lidian, I like your idea of hitting my peak at 71 or 81. We’ll do it together!
Interesting post, Dr. Julie-Ann! I know I am at my best when I have the balance in my life that allows me time and energy to love others and love myself. When I am rushed, anxious, distracted, and/or tired, I know it and I don’t like it. I just turned 46 – the first year that’s sounded a little “mature” to me – as my granddaughter turned 5. Oh, the excitement! She is THRILLED to finally be FIVE, FIVE, FIVE! I decided to bring the same excitement to being FORTY-SIX. Why shouldn’t it be a great year? I’m FORTY-SIX! Yay! For what it’s worth, 31 was a pretty yucky year for me. I’m never going back to that!
Oh, Dr. Rose…you always know how to make me smile
Okay, everybody together now: I’m (insert age here)! Yay!!! It’s a great year!
I am one who doesn’t read the mid-’50s beauty and glamor posts — except that this time your beautiful picture caught my eye. I never was a physically beautiful woman, and Mr. Powers’ words remind me of frustrations I faced during the ’60s when, as a teenager, I so wanted to be beautiful. And the fact that Mr. Powers talks all around that with “inner beauty” concepts — well, it’s not that I don’t agree, it just wasn’t comforting when I was young and now I’ve put it to rest.
I believe the less I think about age and physical beauty, the better. The more I focus on the qualities of good character — and I know what those are — the more satisfying my life will be. Every day I ask myself, “Have I helped or healed today?” And my grandmother — whom I resemble, by the way — would affirm that.
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Well, at 36 I think I look better than I did at 31. I’m starting to find more of a style and being more comfortable with my looks. I’m what I’ve always considered a “vanilla” sort of pretty. I have big green eyes, blond hair, a small turned up nose and a petite frame. But I’ve always longed to have more exotic looks – brunette hair, smoky eyes, etc. I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve become more appreciative of what I do have – a face that is pretty and sweet even if it will never be considered “gorgeous” to anyone other than my husband.
I also think that a big part of continuing to feel beautiful is to take care of yourself, exercise, watch your weight, do your make-up, find complementary hair styles and just be kind to yourself – pretty much what a lot of your posts have been about. Good advice that I am enjoying reading.
That being said, I’m anticipating that the hardest time of life to come to terms with your looks would be in your late 40′s through your early 60′s. I think that once I am quite a bit older I won’t mind the wrinkles and will embrace my age, but that time when I feel things start to go will be definitely harder.
Lost readers? How could they leave when Mr. Powers was such a huge part of the 50′s?
I just turned 49 a few weeks ago and I love my age. I’m still young enough to enjoy life and old enough not to sweat the little things.
Rock on Mr.Powers! Beauty is a state of mind not a state of fashion .