“Loyalty to yourself and all those dependent upon you. Keep your self-respect,” says John Wooden on Loyalty
The Los Angeles Lakers were playing in the NBA playoffs. I couldn’t go anywhere without seeing cars flying purple and gold Lakers flags from their windows and antennae. Friends would confirm that they were loyal Lakers fans and were hoping that they would become the champions. Basketball frenzy had hit the city. And loyal fans were rewarded. The Lakers did, indeed, win the big prize.
When we think of loyalty, we often think in terms of being pledging allegiance to a team, organization or an idea. When we Americans say the pledge of allegiance to the American flag, we aren’t actually making a vow to the flag itself but rather what the flag represents.
But how often do we ponder our loyalty to our own values and ideals in the face of adversity? I was reading an article, recently, that there were people who were afraid to testify in court about California’s controversial Proposition 8 because they were fearful of retaliation. Yet, these witnesses were already well known proponents of the proposition from their public appearances in trying to get it passed. My first response was to wonder how loyal they really were to the cause? It seemed to me that when they had to make an oath, they started flip-flopping around so much they might as well be a fish out of water!
I’m not of the school that believes that we should all hold the same values and ideals…just as long as you’ve come to them thoughtfully and not because you are parroting what you’ve heard from a talking head somewhere. But, I do believe that we have to be willing to be uncomfortable, at times, for the conviction of those values and ideals. When things get tough for us, do we stand by those convictions or do we start backtracking and flip-flopping around until we are comfortable again?
As you may know from the Facebook fan page, I’ve been at my in-laws for the past week helping out with some health issues. While driving home from the doctor the other day, my father-in-law and I began talking about his experiences in The War (he was in the Navy). He was telling me that his conviction was that Hitler and the Japanese needed to be stopped. And he was willing to die for it. He didn’t like it but he felt so strongly about it that he lied about his age so that he could join. I would say that he was standing by his values and ideals in the face of adversity, wouldn’t you?
What does this have to do with being a Modern Retro Woman? I think we’ve gotten so used to politicians imitating fish by flip flopping around that we, too, often change who we are depending upon who we are with when things get rough. Generally speaking, we aren’t at risk of physically dying but we are often afraid of socially dying via isolation. But, you know, it is hard to maintain self-respect when we are being inauthentic to our core values and beliefs. We need to be loyal to ourselves and our convictions…even if standing by them makes us uncomfortable.
Loyalty. It’s an old-fashioned idea. Are you willing to be loyal to yourself?
Firstly, the picture and caption remind me of my Grandma – she told me how disgusted she was when a neighbor invited her to see her basement stockpiled with laundry soap during rationing. It is hard to imagine, having just returned from a Costco, “warehouse” shopping experience.
Your proposition 8 reference, makes me think of someone I greatly admire and who insprires me, St. Thomas More – now there is someone who really is ready to go all the way for their beliefs. A modern, hardworking, scholarly, intellegent, extremely well liked, weathly member of society – but he was not willing to compromise his principals or his religion for the sake of popularity.
Some may think St. Thomas More is a looser of history, but I love him and find him inspriing. I am reading John Wooden’s book on Mentors, and I love the story of his hardworking parents. I am sure Wooden’s Mom & Dad’s stuggles must have seemed invisible at times – but here I am contemplating and admiring their hardwork, humility, gentleness & integrity. I admire John Wooden for having such great mentors like Lincoln & Mother Theresa – I find it intimidating to have a mentor like Mother Theresa, becuase if I ask “what would Mother Theresa do”, well the answer might be, “live in dire poverty in Bangledash”, maybe I can pick someone else whose motto might be “Keep Calm and Carry On”= ha! Seriously, I do admire all these greats of history, and am greatful for their example, which is so relevent today.
Ann, I think you’re onto something there…We look at “The Greats” and become overwhelmed by their greatness, so to speak, and forget that they were real humans, too. I’ll bet there were lots and lots of times that Mother Theresa told herself to “keep calm and carry on.” And it was that keeping calm and carrying on that enabled her to be loyal to herself and her work. (Am I making sense? I’m so tired right now that I’m not sure which way is up!)
This topic — loyalty to oneself and one’s beliefs — reminds me of the poem, “Myself,” by Edgar Guest (1881-1959). It begins:
“I have to live with myself, and so,
I want to be fit for myself to know.”
(This poem is available online so I won’t go into it in its entirety.) My mother had that poem committed to memory and recited it often. It comes back around to the development of character, something I don’t believe this age ponders much. But those coming to this site are willing to think about it. And I think that the grandmothers whose characters we wish to emulate gave thought to these values and clung to them, despite some of the terrible things that happened in their lifetimes. We have to see a bigger picture and live for all mankind.
Kathy~I LOVE that poem! I’ve never read it before. Thank you for bringing it to our attention! Everyone: Here is a link to the poem: http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/32021-Edgar-Albert-Guest-Myself