I get so annoyed when I read comments about homemakers being subjugated and reduced to second class citizens. To be sure, in the past (and, unfortunately, in many ways still) women were treated like second class citizens–we didn’t have the right to vote, own property, or even hold credit in our own names. But there is absolutely no reason why homemakers should feel inferior because “they aren’t contributing to the household income.”
Bullpucky, I say, to the idea of not being contributors! We are full partners in the money-making endeavor. We are just the “silent partner” that works magic behind the scenes. Kathy Brown, of Wingspouse.com, has coined (and trademarked) the term “wingspouse” to describe the executive wife who partners with her husband for mutual success. A wingspouse(TM) is her husband’s confidante, helps him analyze a situation, brainstorms with him, and helps work the room at professional events. In essence, like the fighter pilot’s wingman, the wingspouse has her husband’s back. I like the imagery that the term elicits but I don’t think the idea has to be limited to the executive spouse, You see, in my mind, those things are simply part of the job description of a homemaker.
For example, when we watch old movies and television shows, the wife wants everything to be perfect when the boss and his wife are invited to dinner. The work going into such meals isn’t subjugation; it is an opportunity for the partners to work in tandem for their mutual success. You might say all of those dinners and cocktail parties that epitomized the post-war period were really a form of networking. How much more relaxing it is to get to know each other over a delicious meal rather than those sterile and awkward “networking events” that those climbing the career ladder are forced to attend.
Your home is your family business. What can you do to ensure the business runs smoothly for your mutual benefit?
I just recently wrote a graduate paper on women in the 50s and 60s and the domestic ideal. While the choice to be a housewife and mother is much more an actual choice these days, it is unfortunate that people are assigned worth based on their income bracket. Not only am I a graduate student working on a dual degree, I am also a working musician. I find it quite telling when a person gives my graduate studies so much more weight than my performing (even though my training in music has been incredibly more intense and challenging, as well as fulfilling).
It just goes to show how we are still a society of labels.
Welcome, Steph, and I agree! People can’t seem to “get” my role as a homemaker and writer about the domestic arts but once they hear that I still work very part time for a graduate university, they seem satisfied.
It is exciting to find this blog post and know that you really understand the concept behind the wingspouse career. Some other bloggers have attempted to downplay the importance (and power) of a unified force. So many of them assume that if we choose to turn down a desk job, our degrees disappear. I’m glad you shared your thoughts on the wingspouse concept. Thanks.
Hi Kathi and thanks for stopping over! Until a year ago, I had my career at the university and My Honey had his art career. Even though we were supportive of each other, the two careers sometimes bashed into each other. I love that we are now working in tandem for our mutual success–and I feel like our marriage is much deeper and richer as a result.
This is fantastic
“Your home is your family business. What can you do to ensure the business runs smoothly for your mutual benefit?” That’s home economics, isn’t it? And we just don’t realize how much we do benefit from managing the home as a business — cleanliness, nutritional meals, financial management, character development, and protection for the family. Since my children are grown, I have more time for personal development without interruption, but the business of management is still there.