Beauty is a Duty!

After being knocked out by a “something” that sent me to the doctor twice, I’m feeling better and ready to get back to work!  Since I didn’t have much energy, I tried to get caught up on some of my reading.  One book from 1967, The Art of Homemaking, by Daryl V. Hoole, gives me a lot of food for thought.  This book is different from my vintage housekeeping books because the emphasis is more emotional-self-fulfillment-practical rather than getting-out-the-stains-practical.  Mrs. Hoole is Mormon and has spent her life mentoring other women so that they can be successful in “The Ultimate Career–The Art of Homemaking.”  She recently retired but her website is still full of food for thought.  It is interesting to me to contrast the spirit of this mother of eight with another very famous mother of eight.  And that’s all I’m going to say about that because I also have been reading Dale Carnegie’s work and his admonition to only say nice things about people.

I know I’ve said in previous posts that our homes are a reflection of what is going on inside of us but that we can also influence what is going on inside of us by having a peaceful and loving home.  But, today, I want us to challenge us to take that influence one step closer and examine the impact our appearance can have on us.  The truth of the matter is, if we are sloppy in our dress, we are going to be slopping in our thinking and behavior.  But, if we are attuned to our appearance, we are also attuned to our thinking and behavior.

When I first started coaching, I’d have colleagues comment that they loved working from home because it meant that they could stay in their pajamas all day.  And I’m sure many of them do.  But guess what?  Home based business gurus recommend getting dressed for work even if the office is just down the hall.  When you are dressed, you are more productive because your mind is in “work mode.”

The same rules apply for homemakers.  After all, our “home based businesses” are our homes!  The ridiculed stereotype, of course, is a 1950′s woman in a beautiful dress and wearing pearls.  I’m not saying that we need to become that woman.  But I’ve noticed that our culture encourages sloppiness in our dress.  Everything is big and boxy or stretchy and comfy to hide the fact that clothing manufacturers are saving money by making clothes that don’t require them to fit properly anymore.

Getting dressed for the day requires only a few minutes a day but will pay off in time dividends ten-fold.  If we are in our Homemaking Work Clothes, we will be more productive.   As Mrs. Hoole says in her encouragement to get up each morning and get completely dressed,

Dressing takes such a few minutes, and besides making your husband happy, you’ll find that you feel much more eager and ready to begin your day’s work.  You’ll find that your work goes muc faster and smoother if you are properly dressed for it than if you’re impeded by a flapping housecoat and slipping scuffies.  If you LOOK THE PART (her emphasis), you’ll feel like DOING THE PART.  And, remember, as far as make-up is concerned, “Even a barn looks better if it’s painted!”

She continues,

Mrs. Homemaker, you owe it to your husband and children to get dressed promptly each morning.  More important, you owe it to yourself.  People place whatever value on you which you place on yourself.  If you look like the family door mat they’ll walk all over you.  If you look pert, neat and attractive and as though you had some opinions and rights, they will respect you for it and cooperate better.  As you lay the foundation of work for a successful day, getting dressed is the corner stone.

If you don’t think how you dress matters in how people perceive you, think again.  In 2006, researchers found that well groomed, more formally dressed  women received more attention and better service from sales clerks than other women.  It is important to note that the research took place in plus-size stores so that it would eliminate the size-bias issue.

The point is that I think we need to rethink our thoughts about our appearance.  We don’t have to become slaves to a beauty regimen (and the costs that go with it) but it is time we start reclaiming our dignity and become “ladies who dress” again.  Jordan Christy writes in her delightful book How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World: The Art of Living with Style, Class, and Grace that the women who fought so hard for our rights didn’t do it so that we could end up throwing our dignity away (a la Paris, Britney, Lindsay, reality tv “stars,” etc.).  Ms. Christy is an advocate for sophisticated and old-fashioned values being implemented in our “everyday, modern-girl lives.”  And, one of those old-fashioned values is to care about our appearance and start getting dressed, again, for the day.

Beauty is a duty that we owe to ourselves.