I’ve been in a contemplative mood all day. I met with my students yesterday, turned in my grades last night and no longer consider myself a professor or administrator. I guess my 15 years in higher ed will always have influence but it is kind of a weird place to be. No big brass bands to send me off into my new life. I’m just here.
One thing I noticed was my urge to “just go shopping.” Well, if you have subscribed to my “How to My Manage Money Like Your Grandmother Tips,” you know that I don’t believe in recreational shopping. I thing “Retail Therapy” is a concept that marketers devised in order to get us to part with our money. Sure we feel the rush of having something new and exciting but then, for many of us, regret starts to set in. I reminded myself that shopping wouldn’t fill that empty spot in me and decided not to go to the mall. In the end, I did end up going to Home Depot to buy some replacement shades for the cheap plastic ones that had broken apart on a cheap goose-neck lamp I bought from Target a few years ago (as the founding member of the newly established Quality Club, I would not have bought that lamp today). Having guests this weekend motivated me to get those bare bulbs covered up again.
Something has been bothering me as I’ve been reading some homemaking blogs lately. The author describes how money is tight for her spousal unit and her in several posts and then a few posts later describes the bargains she received when she bought XYZ because it will make the bedroom/kitchen/dining room look so much better and it was needed! There seems to be a disconnect there.
I’m not going to name names because my intention is not to shame people and I believe if you have the money, it is yours to do whatever you want with it. But I know that when I’m working with coaching clients, they often do not see the disconnect between what they are saying and what they are doing and I can hold a symbolic mirror up for them to see where they are running into trouble (and to be fair, I have my own mentor coach so that she can show me my own blind spots, so I know that I’m not immune to this phenomenon).
We have become brainwashed–especially by home decorating shows and magazines–to believe that in order to transform a space, we have to spend money at some home decorating chain and completely redo the space with new stuff. Even if the stuff is on sale, it isn’t a bargain if you spend money you don’t have. THE BEST bargains are the ones where you spend very little to no money in order to freshen up a room. Sometimes it can be as simple as replacing the clutter with a vase of flowers.
Hand-me-downs and used furniture shouldn’t be overlooked, either. Half of our furniture came from my grandparents either as items my grandfather made or what I inherited after he passed away (and he made most of his furniture). We also have furniture that originally belonged to My Honey’s grandmother. We bought our office furniture from a used office furniture store. In fact, the only thing we bought new was our sofa after our old one (that belonged to my grandparents) could no longer be revitalized. When we bought our sofa, we noticed that the quality of mass produced furniture has gone down. Buying used furniture or accepting hand-me-downs often means that you are staying within the guidelines of the Quality Club.
Here is a fun film from 1958. The Star Bronze Company, purveyors of furniture refinishing chemicals, show “Jack and Jill” who have more love than money but are able to transform their 3rd floor walk-up apartment into a nice cozy space.
One of things I like about this film is that it shows a “starter home.” We have to build up to the “House Beautiful” type of home. There is no shame in the notion of “starter decorating,” no matter what HGTV and magazines (or family members) would have you believe. Be rebellious. Do it yourself…at your own pace…with your own TLC…and make a game out of redoing your space without spending money.
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Great article!
I agree — very good article. Deferred living — “It’s not what you make, it’s what you save” — was our motto through our working years. My husband and I never made “big bucks” but we saved what we could, didn’t buy things, budgeted the kids’ clothes, etc. It wasn’t easy — sometimes not pleasant. At a particularly difficult time, my mother-in-law (b. 1914) counseled: “You can make it, and where you have to tighten your belt is in the buying of things. Don’t buy things!” She was so right! And yet, our economy is based on people spending, so we often don’t see this counsel in print. And every now and then you’ll hear a couple say that the lean years were the best years of their marriage. I think it feels good to pull together toward a common goal.
I guess my 15 years in higher ed will always have influence but it is kind of a weird place to be. No big brass bands to send me off into my new life. I’m just here.
You just made a huge change in your life. If you feelings weren’t bouncing around right now that would be a bad thing. Change, even when it’s something we want, is scary. We may be sick of the old stuff, but there is a comfort in the old path even when we come to the realization that it is no longer working for us.
*smacks head* Look at me, counseling the woman with an PhD in Ed Psych! *grins*
I completely agree! And I think the faster people realize how much they are manipulated, the quicker they will stop! Repurposing is fabulous! It’s amazing how much a little paint or some fabric can freshen something up.
Heck, my Mother (so not that long ago) used to darn socks – I bet most of us can’t imagine sewing up holes in socks, we just buy new ones.