I started reading Happy Homes and the Hearts That Make Them
During lunch today, My Honey mentioned that he had sent an email to someone praising the quality of the other person’s artistic workmanship. My Honey was a little annoyed because the person never responded. Now I know there are many reasons why the other person may not have responded but our conversation evolved into a discussion about how the Internet and email can dehumanize someone. In this scenario, we are no longer a person but rather we are an email message that has to be written or responded to. Cell phones also seem to cause the people around a cell phone user to suddenly disappear.
Then I commented that in my Fairy Grandmother podcast from the other day, I mentioned that “common courtesy” is no longer common. At that point My Honey said, “Well it may not be common anymore, but I’m still going to be nice.”
In the Happy Homes book, Mr. Smiles points out that there is a difference between etiquette and manners. According to Mr. Smiles,
Good manners include many requisites; but they chiefly consist in politeness, courtesy, and kindness…It has been said that politeness is the art of showing men, by external signs, the internal regard we have for them.
People get all worked up about etiquette when perhaps we should consider our manners and the messages our behavior sends to other people. People have commented that My Honey and I are very polite to each other. To my way of thinking, shouldn’t I be the most respectful and courteous to the person who means the most in the world to me?
I’m with My Honey on this one. Even though common courtesy doesn’t seem to be very common anymore, I’m still going to be nice. So there.
Dr J wrote: “People have commented that My Honey and I are very polite to each other. To my way of thinking, shouldn’t I be the most respectful and courteous to the person who means the most in the world to me?”
LOL Mr. Hairball’s former coworker told us after hearing us chatting, that we sounded more like friends than a married couple because we were so polite to each other. *looks bewildered*
Um, we were good friends before we started dating, isn’t that a good thing?!?
Whew! Dr. Julie, I’m so glad you aren’t angry with me over “Happy Homes . . . ” Next time I say anything about a book, I’m going to make sure I’ve read the whole thing first! You’re right — it turned out to be so much more than a housekeeping manual. My grandmother’s copy is well-worn. Mr. Smiles’ ideas obviously meant a great deal to her. My dad told me the development or Christian character was important to her.
Your Honey did the right thing in extending words of appreciation to a fellow artist. We don’t know the circumstances of his lack of response — maybe he didn’t get the message, maybe he deleted too soon, maybe he’s forgetful, or maybe he is truly a jerk. But it’s not what comes back to us but what goes out from us that is important. So, Your Honey’s expression of appreciation blesses him no matter what. I believe the whole of life is the way we treat each other.
“My Honey” and I are very domestic, very together, and very traditional in the division of duties. It’s good to hear from people who enjoy marriage. So many don’t.