Here is a sampling of things that have come across my desk or piqued my curiosity or are just random thoughts…
I think cabbage is my new favorite vegetable. Sorry artichoke hearts. It all started innocently enough with the Carrot-Raisin Salad and just grew from there. We’ve been having it a lot recently just chopped up and mixed with a mayo-sour cream-sugar dressing (glop a little mayo, a little sour cream and about a teaspoon of sugar into a small bowl, mix it up and the add it to the chopped cabbage).
This recipe for 1881 Coffee Cafe’s Dutch Apple Walnut Loaf that was featured in today’s Los Angeles Times’ food section looks really good. Note that it isn’t for the faint of heart. Each serving has 390 calories and 19 grams of fat.
I hope my summer bedspread arrives before summer is over. I bought it on sale from JC Penney (and had an additional coupon) but it has been on back order. I guess I’m not the only one who wants a chenille bedspread!
I’ve started preferring Kmart over Target. I know, I know. Kmart has “that” reputation but about a year ago I was drawn into Kmart by an ad for something I wanted and I was amazed by how positive my experience was. And they have all of the “classic” housewares stuff. And all of the classic cosmetics stuff. And, so far, everything we need I’ve found there–including Wrangler jeans for My Honey. It seems like my trips to Target are becoming more and more frustrating. I needed to buy two more Pyrex loaf pans and Target didn’t have them. They had about 20 different fancy Pyrex things but nothing basic like a cake or loaf pan or mixing/measuring bowls. Everything in the housewares section was “hippified” with some designer name on it. I’m not hip. I just want my basic stuff, thank you very much.
On July 29, 1957 Jack Paar began his stint as the host of the Tonight Show–changed to The Jack Paar Show–on NBC-TV. He was the host for five years. Mr. Paar’s version of The Tonight Show was very different than today’s. He preferred literary types over Hollywood stars trying to promote their latest movies. A factoid to toss out at your next cocktail party: While Paar did not originate the phrase “I kid you not,” his frequent use of it made it an American catchphrase.
I loved Poloroid cameras and was excited when I read that they were coming out with the Pic 300. I wasn’t sure I liked the idea of the photo only being the size of a business card but after seeing a video review of it on Amazon, I might just add it to my wish list!
Confession: There are two boxes in the corner of my office waiting for me to sort through them and organize the contents. They are filled with receipts and paid bills and other stuff that I think I need to keep.
Another confession: I have over 4,000 messages stored in my email inbox (My friend Meggin McIntosh--who teaches people how to zero out their inbox everyday– is having a major coronary from reading that, I’m sure).
Although I’m getting better, I know I save way too much information. I laugh when I see those accordion file folders with tabs for each month at the office supply store because my annual collection of paperwork fills a banker’s box or two.
But, why?
This morning, I was contemplating that when I saw my grandfather’s financial records on my mother’s table after he passed away last winter, I was amazed that everything fit into about six file folders. And my tax accountant brother said that my grandfather’s records were impeccable…those file folders contained information about his banking, savings, investments, insurance, credit cards, copies of his will, etc. Everything my brother and mother needed to know to get my grandfather’s estate wrapped up.
So why was my 96-year-old grandfather able to only have six file folders and I have banking boxes? I’d like to say that the extra paperwork comes from tax-related stuff associated with my husband’s art business and my coaching, writing, and school related expenses. But that isn’t the truth.
The truth is that I hold onto old bills and other paperwork because I think I might need them. And it isn’t a paper versus electronic format thing, either. I hold onto old emails because I think they will contain important information that I will need sometime in the future. As a result, I am overwhelmed with informationitus and, ironically, can’t find what I need when I go looking for it.
My paternal grandparents had one file drawer in their desk for all of their financial records. After checking the Good Housekeeping’s chart on how long to keep important papers, it’s easy to see how they and my grandfather kept everything succinct. I can discard/shred/delete about 90% of what I keep.
Am I the only one who suffers from this malady? Will you join me in clearing out information clutter?
An ideal homemaker is devoted to the great career in which she is engaged. She is a professional in her field by being a homemaker every day and letting devotion and sense of duty, rather than her moods, dominate her. ~Daryl V. Hoole, The Art of Homemaking, 1967
I’ve had a sinus headache since yesterday afternoon. A big part of me wanted to just crawl back into bed and surf the Internet all day or read. Instead, I’ve played the “just 30 minutes” mind game with myself all day: “I’ll just do X for 30 minutes and then I’ll call it a day.” And, after I finished X, I went on to Y, and then Z. Despite not feeling 100%, I’ve been able to get a lot accomplished today–I think I’ve been through the alphabet twice already!
Coach Wooden would say that my “conditioning” paid off today. I’m not totally clear about his underlying meaning (perhaps you can clarify it for me, Ann?) but my understanding is that we keep pushing our physical, emotional, and spiritual boundaries out further and further so that we can increase our stamina in those areas.
In my pre-modern retro woman days, I would have gone to bed with a cold compress if I broke a fingernail (okay, maybe not that bad, but it didn’t take much). Today, I’m being respectful of my body but also letting my mind know that it isn’t going to get a day off.
And you know what? That same mind that was being rather cranky that it wasn’t going to get a day off is feeling rather proud of what it was able to accomplish today. I guess sometimes the mind doesn’t always know what it really wants.
You can’t be a man. Be a woman. It’s powerful business when done correctly.” ~Bobbie Barrett to Peggy Olson, Mad Men, Season 2
I always read the letters that are printed in the newspaper. One letter, in response to an article about Angelina Jolie’s new role in the movie Salt, really caught my attention and gave me a lot to ponder. Alas, the paper was put out with the recycling that was picked up this morning. I can’t find the letter on the paper’s website so I can’t quote it directly. But the gist of the woman’s letter was that for the past 35+ years we’ve been told that being a woman isn’t good enough–we’ve been told that we have to emulate men in the boardroom and be promiscuous in the bedroom. And now, that isn’t even good enough, we have to now be a Tom Cruise-action-hero-replacement. Enough already! Let us be women again!
During the second season of the hit television series Mad Men, the character of Bobbie Barrett–a glamorous wife who very successfully manages her husband’s entertainment career–tells the character Peggy Olson–the up and coming copy writer– to stop trying to play by the men’s rules. She tells her that she will be successful if she remembers that she is a woman.
I’ll be honest here. During my career in higher education, I played it both ways. I quickly ascended the ladder “despite” the “obstacle” of being an ultra-feminine woman. And when I say ultra-feminine, think in terms of Grace Kelly and Audrey Hepburn–always dressed appropriately and always like a confident woman, not a little girl. Because I didn’t mistake “hootchie goochie” as being feminine, I was rarely treated disrespectfully. My colleagues and students knew where I stood and what my strengths were and I had the ear of important people (and they knew they could bounce ideas or thoughts off of me and get straight answers).
Somewhere between the Atlantic and the Pacific coasts I forgot how powerful I was as an ultra-feminine woman. I became an administrator at Big Name University and thought I had to play by the men’s rules. I started wearing power suits. More than one person told me that I was rather intimidating when we first met. I was absolutely miserable for most of the time that I worked there.
I realize, now, that part of this journey as a modern retro woman is a heroine’s journey to reclaim my ultra-feminine self. I’m not very good at being a man. Being an ultra-feminine woman, on the other hand, is pretty powerful stuff…if done correctly.
Even the prettiest hairdo won’t make up for a bad complexion. ~ Noxzema Ad, 1965
When I was a child, I often looked like this after a day spent outdoors:
I don’t tan. I burn. My unprotected skin starts to turn red within about 15 minutes or so. Noxzema, which was first developed by Dr. Francis J. Townsend and referred to as “no-eczema,” provided relief for many sunburns.
Fast forward *cough* years. I finally learned my lesson as an adult and started staying out of the sun without protecting my skin first. I didn’t have a need for Noxzema. Or did I?
The ad promised that I would look lovelier in 10 days. They were wrong. It didn’t take that long for my skin to clear up and I love, love, love the feel of it on my skin.
My nightly regimen now consists of using the cold cream to remove my eye make-up (wipe it off with a tissue) and using the Noxzema to clean my face and neck. It seems to be working for me!
Housekeeping is a real job–a job that needs to be planned carefully if one would avoid becoming a slave to housework or have free time for social activities and outside interests….In short, when a schedule has been followed until it becomes second nature, you run your house; it doesn’t run you. ~America’s Housekeeping Book, 1941
Imagine, if you will, that you’ve been appointed to a plum managerial job at ABC Enterprises, a family owned operation. The direct monetary pay isn’t all that great but the non-tangibles make it worthwhile. For example, you are immediately given stocks in the company as part of the profit-sharing plan, you have an expense account, you set your own hours and you get to be as creative as you would like to be. Your first day on the job is full of excitement and you leave work with a great sense of accomplishment. The second day is also filled with critical decision-making but you decide to leave early to meet a friend for a mani-pedi at the local salon and then dinner. The third day is filled with a tinge of guilt as you realize that some undone stuff from the day before is impeding your ability to concentrate on the day’s work ahead. The fourth day, you start to feel a little overwhelmed with all of the decisions that need to be made and you discover that some of your tasks need to be done again and again and again, over and over and over again. By Friday, you decide to take a few minutes to read your favorite blogs and hang out on Twitter and Facebook. But you lose track of time and before you know it, the day has passed online and nothing on your “To Do” list has been crossed off. You are racked with guilt and vow to be a better manager and the whole cycle starts over again.
What’s missing from the scenario? Intentness.
Intentness provides a framework for being an effective home manager. In this day and age, we want instant results. We want our house to miraculously look like it came out of Home and Garden and we fantasize about The Food Network giving us our own cooking show. But life doesn’t really happen that way. The results we desire often require time and patience. Intentness keeps us from being distracted and enables us to persevere no matter what happens.
Let’s look at this another way. I know from experience that I am much more productive when I have a purpose. If I don’t, I just languish about and feel rather bored with tasks that I know I need to complete. Tons of books have been written to help businesses focus on their primary purpose. At every institution where I’ve worked, I’ve been part of committees whose purpose is to clarify the “mission” of the department within the greater purpose of the university.
What if…whatif we decided to overtly define our purpose as home managers? What would our mid-century role model’s mission statement be?
When I was teaching Lifespan Human Development, I’d start the semester off with death and dying instead of prenatal development. My students’ first assignment (due at the second class meeting) was to write their obituary and their epitaph. They, of course, thought I was nuts until they understood that I was helping them clarify how they wanted to be remembered by others. Thinking about how you want to be remembered, as morbid as it may seem, is one of the first steps in defining your purpose as a home manager.
I’ve seen some high falutin’ mission statements and there are a lot of online resources that will help your create one but I think a simple one line statement is sufficient. For example, this is my rough draft:
My purpose as a home manager is to create a peaceful, serene, inviting, and loving environment that will enable all family members to achieve their goals and thrive.
So, getting back to the passage I quoted from America’s Housekeeping Book at the top of this post, by keeping a housekeeping schedule, my home is serene and inviting; I’m able to create a loving environment through the meals I prepare and other “little details,” and, since my house doesn’t control me, I can thrive through achieving my personal development goals.
How about you? Share your own (rough draft) statement in the comments.
An ideal homemaker is consistent in applying the best skills and methods she knows. She has a built-in self-starter. ~Daryl V. Hoole, The Art of Homemaking, 1967
I’ve fallen out of The Box. And I can tell. The housekeeping aspect of my homemaking is seemingly effortless when I have a routine. When I slip out of my routine, things start to fall apart around the edges and get left undone. The old maxim that it is easier to keep a clean house clean really is true.
Like many people, I thrive when I have structure in my life and my housekeeping routine creates the foundation for a calm home. It may not be absolutely spotless, but it is neat, tidy, and serene. It reduces the “on my mind” load so that I feel in charge of my life instead of being buffeted about from one crisis to the next. By doing today’s work today, I don’t tack my undone tasks onto tomorrow’s “to do” list eventually making it unwieldy and overwhelming.
Mrs. Hoole, in her book The Art of Homemaking, points out that our morning routines are the foundation for the rest of the day. She implores us to avoid getting sucked into other tasks–such as cleaning out a closet–until we have completed our morning routine and “today’s work.”
You may have seen the old kitchen towels with daily chores embroidered on them:
Monday: Wash Day
Tuesday: Ironing Day
Wednesday: Sewing Day
Thursday: Market Day
Friday: Cleaning Day
Saturday: Baking Day
Sunday: Day of Rest
While we may look at the towels as being artifacts of the days when women were in their yards all day doing their laundry in a washtub, the ditty does remind us that we need to assign our housekeeping tasks to regular days instead of going about them haphazardly. For example, instead of trying to deep clean my entire house in one day, I clean one room per day. But I also designate how much time I spend cleaning that room–usually an hour. By using a timer, I am able to stay focused (and resist the urge to “check my email just for a minute”) and the index cards from my box keep me from flaking out from doing a good job. When I want to skip a task such as vacuuming under the sofa cushions, I ask myself, “If not now, when?”
Another advantage of using the timer is that when I’m following my daily and weekly routine, it doesn’t take me an entire hour to deep clean my designated room for that day. As I said before, it is easier to keep a clean house clean than having to start from scratch over and over again. So what do I do with that extra time? For whatever amount of time remains, I tackle other non-routine tasks such as re-organizing a drawer, culling clothes for donation from the closet, or making sure all of the storage containers still have matching lids…you know, all those little things that we always plan on getting done but never seem to get around to doing. The built-in time limit keeps everything in bite-size chunks. Will I clean out my entire closet in 30 minutes? No. But you’d be surprised by what can be accomplished in that time and eventually everything will be streamlined.
I like using the tickler file concept to help keep me on track. You can read about the system I use by clicking here. I use a combination of a “to do” list for the general outline of my day and index cards that provide detailed reminders. But, just because I use that system doesn’t necessarily mean that it will work for you. The goal is for you to create a system that works for you, not try to force yourself into a system and then beat yourself up when it doesn’t work for you.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go do my morning routine and today’s work…today.
“We’ve been planning to meet. But we can’t decide on a date, time, or location.” ~The Mister in describing his membership in the faux self-help group “Choicemakers”
I mentioned that I was thinking about merging my vintage food blog with this blog on the Facebook fan page last week and asked for feedback. Although I was sure that I was going to do it, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t forgetting anything major. A few people confirmed my rationale right away (without my prompting) and so I completed the merger. And then Maria Welsh said something that really jumped out at me:
Hi, like that you have gone with your “heart right” feelings – that’s what a Retro Woman would do. Modern women keep looking for answers and not go with the flow! Good choice!!
It is so true! We agonize and ruminate over our decisions. We search the Internet for answers. We buy 300 books on the same topic to find out what the experts tell us to do. We ask everyone we know what we should do. And then we ask them again, saying “Are you sure I’m making the right decision??”
Have we become so embroiled in our need “to do everything just right” that our confidence in our own abilities and decision-making have been destroyed?
I’m not saying that we need to be impulsive. Many regrets are made from giving into impulses. What I am saying is that we need to incorporate what Coach John Wooden would call Initiative on his Pyramid of Success. As he says, “Make a decision! Failure to act is often the biggest failure of all.”
We are all going to have failures. It is part of life. Some people would view my Betty Crocker and Me blog as a failure. Not me. I took the initiative and gave it a go. It didn’t work out. But at least I tried and I learned about myself along the way.
Being a 1950s homemaker does not mean we have to be perfect. It means that we have confidence in our ability to stretch our comfort zone in the choices that we make.
